Conservatidiots of the Week

Updating this blog is harder than you think. Not because there's a lack of source material, since conservatives are constantly screwing up and mouthing off these days, but because I have to spend a lot of time researching such instances which are both 1) totally astounding, and 2) something I want to write in-depth about. Additionally, many ongoing topics-- such as the "Sotomayor is a big fat racist" mantra or Sarah Palin's secession from the Alaska governor's mansion-- are just too infuriating and tend to make me want to break my already-worn laptop.

Anyway, I did come across several stories which definitely make you want to invoke the "Facepalm" technique. Here are this week's conservatidiots:

• Rep. Peter King (R-NY), for calling Michael Jackson a "pedophile" and a "child molester" without having substantial proof to validate his claim. King proves he is fantastic at invoking that "judge first, ask questions later" mentality holy-rolling social conservatives constantly spew. Jackson was acquitted in 2003, but King, who lives on Long Island and works in Washington, DC., apparently has access to information the general public doesn't have yet regarding this case, therefore giving him the ability to legally say such horrendous things. Or, he's a hot-headed egomaniac who loves to open his mouth without thinking. I'm going with the latter on this.
• The Drudge Report, for publishing a photo which appears to imply that President Obama looked at a young girl's ass while on last week's trip abroad. Leave it to Matt Drudge to take things entirely out of context; as it turns out, Obama's head was tilted down, because he was helping an aid walk up down some stairs. His eyes were not on that other woman at all, and the video footage from which this photo came from proves this. Then again, this is Matt Drudge we're talking about-- a man who published a photo of Obama in Kenyan garb while on a trip to Africa three years ago, using it to imply that he was a closet Muslim.
• Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) for not learning to keep his fucking mouth shut. Not only does he cheat on his wife and leave his kids to have a fling with his Argentinian mistress, but he continues to embarass them almost three weeks after the revelation by leaking more and more details about his sexcapades. I don't need to know that Mark Sanford, who looks like a horse with skin cancer, has had relations with numerous women while married. I don't need to know what they talked about, what they considered doing, and where their relationships went. All I need to know is that he screwed up, horribly, so I can have a good laugh without feeling dirty.
• Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), for having his parents give $96,000 to his mistress's family. According to his attorney, this money was given as "gifts" and was not intended to silence his mistress or her husband-- former employees of Ensign's, nonetheless-- from blabbing to the media. Please excuse me while I let out a resounding HA!
• Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK), for threatening to sue the media for "defamation of character" because it continues to speculate about her resignation, ethics probes, and her personal life. Because, you know, the big bad liberal media is responsible for her continuous fuck-ups...
• Rep. Bobby Bright (D-AL), for posing for a picture while holding a T-shirt which reads "Fire Congress," handed to him by his oh-so-charming Alabama constituents. Bright either 1) doesn't realize he is a congressman, 2) is just as mindless as his constituents by posing with such a useless shirt, or 3) unaware that his constituents probably want to fire him because he belongs to the same party as the Closet Muslim Socialist Babykiller (Alabama slang for "President Obama"). He also gets a shout-out for voting against the climate bill, when his district is one of the most volatile districts towards the environment. No wonder why his constituents want to fire him; he hates their health and prolonged well-being.